I was only supposed to take two weeks off, then it became three, then four, then, well, here we are. It doesn’t feel like I’ve taken five weeks off because every week, I still tell myself to write, and I do, I just end up hating everything that comes out. I wonder when that will stop happening? I don’t think it will ever go away; I think the only thing I can do is to keep writing and putting it out there in the hopes of something, anything will resonate with someone, anyone.
I started a new job in late September, which explains some of my absence, though not entirely. It’s not exactly a new job. I mentioned in a previous newsletter that I was let go of a job I’d been doing for two years when they decided, seemingly out of nowhere, to give it to someone decidedly paler than me. Well, they gave the job back to me last month after he had to leave the country. Sometimes all you need to do is outlast them. (God, I miss Survivor.) And while my free time has considerably gone down, the truth is, writing has been a struggle. I started a paper journal on Monday with the goal of writing two pages every day in the hope that it’ll help loosen the gears. It’s too early to tell, but I’ve already skipped one day if that’s any indication. (Then again, here I am, writing, so I guess it does work?)
I’ve been all over the place this month and it’s only now, as it’s coming to an end, that I finally feel like I’ve gotten my bearings. In between work and worrying about not writing enough, I’ve leaned rather heavily on a number of coping mechanisms to get me through it all and keep me relatively sane before I plunge even deeper into the depths of despair in the event of a ***** reelection. I’m sharing them here with the hope that they might bring you some kind of joy or relief in this hellscape we find ourselves in.
Playwright Jeremy O. Harris’s Coronavirus mixtapes manage to capture that specific and truly chaotic 2020 energy like nothing else can. If you’re ‘an old’ like me and need help navigating the confusing but utterly fascinating world of Tiktok, through these mixtapes, Harris cherry-picks his favorites and shares them regularly so you don’t have to wade through the platform’s more questionable content, and for that, we thank him.
If you’re on Instagram, you’ve probably come across Jordan Firstman and his impressions of oddly specific but completely recognizable, sometimes topical, characters like Banana Bread’s Publicist, The Coder Responsible for the Simulation We’re Living In, and Someone Getting Nominated for an Instagram Challenge. And while they’re all great, his Secrets ‘series’ is a completely different kind of unhinged that’s both hilarious and unnerving at the same time. Via Instagram’s Questions feature, Firstman invites his followers to share their secrets with him, which he then posts, anonymized of course, with his corresponding reactions. The secrets run the gamut from the silly to the surreal and seeing Firstman trying to grapple with some of the more scandalous ones can be especially amusing.
I know I’ve sung her praises before but Maangchi just doesn’t miss. I love japchae because the dish is a meal in itself. It’s got everything you need: protein, veg, carb! When I make it, I sub the beef for chopped up pre-fried tofu. Sometimes I leave out the egg, which easily veganizes it. I usually have to add a little more sesame oil, soy sauce, and salt, but her measurements here are a great start, just season to your liking. It can be pretty labor-intensive and there are several different stages so I suggest reading the entire recipe before tackling it, which is a good thing to do for any recipe, really.
My dog
I mean, look at her.
Music
Some people forget to drink water or, when they’re particularly busy, forget to eat, I never have this problem. I do, however, go through periods when I forget to listen to music. (When you live with someone who’s very much into music as Joff, my partner, is, you’re never really without music.) And then one day, after however long I’ve gone without it, I’ll go out for a walk and put my earphones in and listen to one of Spotify’s personalized playlists and I’ll remember, “Oh right. I feel a lot better when I do this.”
That’s just a long and overwrought way of saying: I’ve been listening to a lot of music lately, especially this song in particular:
Joff asked me to DJ at one of the bars he does bookings for last month (don’t worry, Hanoi has gone almost two months without a community infection), and coming up with the setlist was unexpectedly cathartic. It helped me rediscover old favorites, bands and songs I hadn’t listened to in years and it reminded me of how it felt to share ‘mixtapes’ on Livejournal back in the mid-aughts. The time I took in making them, even going so far as designing ‘album art’ for each one. Case in point:
A mix I’d made in 2006 after getting my heart broken, natch
If you’re interested, here’s a link to what I played that night.
My point is, with all that’s been going on these days, it’s helpful to find pockets of joy and relief every now and then amid the constant deluge of awfulness that this year has been, even if it comes from a silly Tiktok or Instagram Story.
—
Anyway, on to the recipes:
Garlic Noodles
We’ve been making some version of these noodles since we moved here in 2016. They’re inspired by the popular garlic noodles of Thang Long, a crab restaurant in San Francisco that Joff used to visit when he lived there. Thang Long is actually the original name of Hanoi, so our obsession with these noodles feels strangely appropriate.
Ingredients:
5 cloves of garlic, chopped
2-3 tbsp butter
1 tbsp brown sugar
1 tbsp oyster sauce (I actually prefer vegetarian oyster sauce but regular works as well)
1 tbsp fish sauce (Vietnamese, preferably, but whatever you have)
200 grams dried spaghetti or whatever egg noodle you have on hand
1 stalk of scallions, chopped
Directions:
Cook your noodles, set them aside. Mix the brown sugar, oyster sauce, and fish sauce in a bowl and set aside.
Melt your butter in a pan over low heat so it doesn’t burn. Once the pan’s well-heated, throw in the chopped garlic.
Once the garlic’s fragrant, add the sauce to the pan and cook for about two minutes. It should bubble and reduce a bit because of the sugar.
Mix the sauce with your noodles and top with the chopped scallions, and enjoy.
When I told Joff I was going to share this recipe, he was quick to point out that it’s not his recipe, even though I’ve told a few friends it is. Anyway, it’s a recipe he taught me a while back and one that I find myself constantly going back to, both for its simplicity and deliciousness. As far as I’m concerned, it’s his. (Though the internet tells me it most closely resembles a daiquiri.)
Ingredients
2 oz. white rum (Havana Club is great but whatever you have)
3/4 oz. lime juice
3/4 oz. simple syrup (which is 1:1 sugar and water, heated up til the sugar is dissolved)
dash of orange or Angostura bitters
Directions
Combine all ingredients in a glass with ice, stir, and top with a few dashes of bitters, and enjoy. Personally, I like to knock back a few and sing YouTube karaoke but you do you.
As always, thanks for reading. If you try any of these recipes, let me know, I love the feedback.